SEXUAL ACTS AND RISKS

Considered Completely Safe:

Mutual masturbation

Today, mutual masturbation is unquestionably the preferred sex act of the health conscious, or if you are unsure of your partner’s HIV status. It’s also common if you’re on a first date or still in that transitional period in which you are dating someone you’re not totally comfortable with, it’s a great way to have a good time without fear.

You can do it sitting, standing, lying down in bed, with one of you sitting and one standing, with one kneeling and the other standing. You can rub against each other while jerking each other off. You can look at each other’s face, and body, and of course at each other’s cock and balls. You can kiss, lick, nibble, or bite each other. You can do it naked, semi-naked, clad only in underwear and jockstraps, or with only your cocks sticking out of your flies. Some men prefer to use no liquids while jerking you off. Some will utilize a little saliva. Others have their specialty “lubes” which range from olive oil and butter to K-Y jelly.

Hugging

It might seem innocuous and perhaps not very erotic or stimulating, but hugging can be very sensual. Hugging can take place in a variety of places, such as in the pool or the ocean. Hug while standing in the rain. A long embrace naked under the moonlight (as long as you feel safe). A hug from friends can fill the void of not being in a relationship. Sometimes all you really need is the physical closeness of another person to feel fulfilled or expel loneliness.

Body rubbing/Frottage

Many couples rub their bodies together — especially their sex organs — for pleasure and orgasm.

Massage

Full body massage can be done naked or clothed. Massage can be an extraordinarily stimulating, intimate, and sexual activity if done naked. Use a massage oil that is scented. Warm the massage oil with hands or in warm water, and do long strokes on the back and legs, knead the shoulders. Take time; be aware. Cover your body with oil and rub body parts against your lover (with no genital to genital contact because of the possibility of exchanging body fluids). You can rub your breasts/chest over their back; or the women can rub her vagina on her partner’s buttock; The man can rub his penis on his partners back and legs, ending with mutual masturbation, or by using a dildo or vibrator. It is important, if sex toys are used, that they are only used on one person. If toys are shared, use a fresh condom on them for each person, and if using oil during massage, remember that condoms will weaken and break when exposed to the oil.

Dry kissing

Kissing is safe, yes, but only dry kissing (using no tongue). Use your tongue on other parts of the body, such as the ear lobe, the toes, the fingers, and belly button - anywhere that there is not an opening into the body, cut, scratch, or sore.

S/M if without bleeding or bruising

Before getting involved in this scene, be aware that for some men real violence is not only exciting, but essential. Occasionally, genuinely harmful things do happen. If you decide to try this scene, start out with someone you know. You may be too naïve to spot a potentially dangerous person. The novice often starts as a masochist. There’s no way you can learn to be a good S except from someone experienced. The experienced S will let the novice establish his own limits. It’s a good idea to agree on a safe word, a signal that lets the S know that those limits have been reached. If you’re with someone who refuses to use a safe word, don’t get involved.

Sex toys used only on self

Electric vibrators slipped into the back of the hand can introduce novelty into masturbation. There are battery-operated vibrators in the shape of cocks, which you can use to fuck yourself. Cock rings are devices placed around the bottom of the penis and sometimes around the balls while the cock is soft or semi-hard. After the cock becomes fully hard, the ring cuts off the outflow of blood and prolongs the erection.

Remember, sex toys must be cleaned after use. In most cases washing them well with hot water and antibacterial soap is recommended. However, if there’s any doubt, or if the skin of anyone on the scene has been broken, do the following: Wash the toy with soap and water, then thoroughly rub it with alcohol, to kill any lingering germs. Finally give it a second wash to get the alcohol off. This procedure ensures not only your own health, but also the health of future sex partners.

Considered Possibly Safe:

Anal intercourse with a condom

Sex between men: Because of the high risk of passing STDs during anal sex and foreplay, place a condom on your partner as soon as his penis is going to come in close contact with your anal area — even if he isn’t going to penetrate you. Put a lot of lubricant on your partner’s condom-covered penis and on the outside of your anus. Beware of the “two finger stretch” to get ready for him because this can tear your sphincter muscles easier than his penis. I recommend that you sit down on your partner so that you maintain control while you try to take him. As soon as the head of his penis pushes against your anus, the internal and external sphincter muscles contract. You will feel a sharp pain. Stay there! Within 30 to 60 seconds your muscles will relax. You can then safely sit the rest of the way down on him. Move up and down a few times and by then your muscles will be sufficiently relaxed so you can go to any position you want. Do not stimulate your penis while you are trying to take your partner. This also sets up a strong reflex that contracts your sphincter muscles even tighter. There isn’t anything particularly different for women having anal sex with each other vs. men with men. The anal canal has the same musculature and it will tense and loosen in a similar manner. Lesbians can transmit STDs through anal play with each other if hands or toys aren’t cleaned and covered with a latex glove or condom.

Wet kissing

French Kissing is in this category because of the possibility that there will be an exchange of body fluids. Saliva need not concern us, but blood should. The mouth is a very delicate area, and sometimes gums bleed. The mouth and tongue also tend to have small cuts at times. There have been no documented cases that someone has contracted the HIV virus from kissing alone, but kissing is often part of other (read unsafe) activities, so it is difficult to tell if the virus has been transmitted through kissing or not. There have been studies that suggest there are enzymes in saliva that kill HIV. Given this information it would take a decent flow of blood, not just a few droplets, to get past both partners’ enzyme’s barriers.

Sucking, but stopping before climax

A good blowjob should be a pleasure rather than a task. And it can be pleasurable for the one sucking as well as for the one being sucked. You should always use a condom since sucking can transmit several STD’s through semen and also pre-ejaculate.

External water sports (no swallowing)

Guys pissing on each other or drinking each other’s piss is water sports. Another term for pissing or being pissed on is “golden shower,” and the person who prefers this activity is often called a golden shower queen. Giving and receiving enema is another less common aspect of water sports. Be advised that excessive flushing of the colon may damage it. Drinking piss is not harmful, unless pathogenic bacteria are in the urine. It can be harmful if you have a compromised immune system because of a disease like cancer or HIV. Only a small percentage of gay men go for water sports regularly.

Fisting (with latex gloves)

Fisting is the insertion of the whole hand through the rectum and into the colon. It is dangerous and could result in complications that lead to death. A sharp fingernail can leave a deep, painful cut in the rectum that could take weeks to heal. A fist ramming the sigmoid colon – the part of the intestine eight inches up from the anus – could be fatal. The tissue lining of the sigmoid colon has the consistency of wet paper towels. In some cases it can expand to accommodate a closed fist, but internal bleeding can result, as can infection of the peritoneum (the membrane lining the abdomen), causing peritonitis. Since the bleeding is internal, it produces no visible blood. Some men have recognized the symptoms (stomach cramps, chills, and fever) and rushed to a surgeon, saving their lives. The harm done in fisting comes about because the intestines lack pain receptors. The person being fist fucked can’t tell what’s going on inside him.

The fister should coat his hand and forearm with a thick layer of lubricant (Crisco is often used) and should apply more lubricant throughout the process. The fister ought to have previously removed rings and bracelets from his hand and wrist, trimmed his fingernails, sanding down rough edges.

Fisting should begin with a cleansing. Enema bags of various kinds are available at your local pharmacy. Fisting begins with the insertion of one or two fingers to loosen up the muscles; three or four fingers follow. The fister then pulls out his hand, folds his thumb against his palm, and wriggles his entire hand back in. The man getting fucked will take whatever position facilitates entry. Perhaps the best position is standing and slowly sitting on a vertical forearm.

You should never insert any dangerous object into your ass.

Considered Unsafe:

Swallowing semen

You should always use a condom since sucking can transmit several STD’s through semen and also pre-ejaculate. You should never swallow your partner’s semen unless absolutely certain of their sexual health. Remember, many STD’s show no symptoms for months after exposure.

Anal intercourse without a condom

Barebacking – fucking without a condom – is the single most dangerous sex practice there is. Since we know so much about the transmission of the HIV, fucking someone without a condom is equivalent to two men playing Russian roulette with each other. If you’re going to fuck, carry condoms. Insist that your partner use one if he’s going to fuck you – “Put the condom on or put your clothes on.” If for some reason you do bareback, be sure to get tested about a month later. If you test negative, get tested again in two more months.

Water sports in mouth or on skin with sores

Guys pissing on each other or drinking each other’s piss is water sports. Giving and receiving enema is another less common aspect of water sports. Be advised that excessive flushing of the colon may damage it. Drinking piss is not harmful, unless pathogenic bacteria are in the urine. It can be harmful if you have a compromised immune system because of a disease like cancer or HIV.

Sharing IV needles

It is well documented that injection needle users who share unclean needles are at great risk of being infected with HIV. Sharing unclean needles allows a direct exchange of blood from one person’s body into the bloodstream of another. When a person puts a needle into the vein, s/he will pull back the plunger to make sure that they are in a vein, and if they are, blood will enter the syringe. Some of this blood may still be in the syringe when it’s given to a second person. An injection drug user who has never shared needles will not get HIV from needles regardless of his or her habit. It’s the exchange of blood that causes transmission.

Sharing enema equipment or sex toys

You should always clean and disinfect sex toys or cover with a fresh condom before each use.

Rimming

Rimming is an easy way to contract several serious diseases, including hepatitis A, amebiasis (and other parasitic diseases), and venereal diseases, such as syphilis and gonorrhea. Beware of teeth and biting because the skin, if cut, can easily become infected. If your tongue is pierced you might tear the anal lining if you aren’t careful. A rough beard can also irritate the anal lining. Some people use dental dams (a piece of latex) or cellophane placed over their partner’s anus as a type of safe sex barrier for rimming. Most, however, find that this takes away the oral pleasure and taste. Don’t use Saran Wrap or the like. It’s porous, allows bacteria to pass through, and won’t prevent disease. There is no evidence that rimming, or being rimmed, has transmitted HIV, but rimming should only be done when you are absolutely certain of the health of your sex partner.